


The Calling

by citra_talugmai



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-13 10:38:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5704558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citra_talugmai/pseuds/citra_talugmai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every night since Starkiller Base she's dreamed of him, felt a call she doesn't quite know how to describe. Perhaps it's time to seek some answers?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Visions

It had been a year.  
A full year and every night he visited her in her dreams. The dreams were not pleasant, though she hesitated to call them nightmares. Rey had long since stopped feeling fear for the masked figure who called himself Kylo Ren, instead she felt this inescapable pull towards him. She had no idea how to characterise this feeling, it wasn't romantic or sexual, nor was it sympathetic. She hated Kylo Ren, she hated him for torturing Poe, for killing people, for murdering his own father. However, sometimes she could almost see why he did it, she still remembered feeling the call of the Dark Side that day on Starkiller Base as she'd stalked towards Kylo Ren, fully prepared to kill him. It had felt cold, like phantom fingers being traced up her spine, and yet she could feel the promise of power behind it. The feeling had since subsided, though it hadn't disappeared completely, and it never did, according to Master Luke. Rey hadn't mentioned the 'connection' she felt towards Kylo Ren, she feared what it meant and how Master Luke would react. Besides, she was curious about these dreams, she was certain Kylo Ren had these visions too – though she had no idea how he felt about them – and there were times where she caught herself daydreaming about going off to find him and train before reminding herself it was a terrible idea and to return to her meditations.

Kylo Ren woke every night to his scar searing with pain, as he dreamed about that damned girl from Jakku. He kept thinking back to when he interrogated her, back to that moment where they both felt an energy pass between them before if fizzled out and they were enemies again. When he'd looked at her he'd felt it again, the call to the Light Side. The girl was just so damned full of it. But stronger than the call of the Light side was the calling he felt for the girl herself. They were connected, he knew, but beyond that he knew precious little. Neither his Uncle nor Snoke had ever bothered to teach him about Force Bonds aside from their existence and he had no idea what it meant. If only he could talk to her, he was certain he could figure it out if she only agreed to train with him, but considering their last encounter that felt unlikely. At least he was back on his own command ship, now he only had to see the filth that was General Hux via a hologram during meetings with Snoke. He despised the slimy little man and he knew Hux's opinion of him was similar. Kylo hadn't mentioned the connection he felt with the scavenger girl to Snoke though he knew his Master had his suspisions. And for some reason he felt the ridiculous need to protect the girl from Snoke and his mind flashed back to the last time he'd discussed her with his master.  
The Supreme Leader's voice was flat. “You have compassion for her.”  
“No-never. Compassion? For an enemy of the order?”  
It had been a lie, one that neither he nor Snoke believed. Kylo Ren sighed and pushed himself of of his bed. Sleep was useless at this point. Perhaps meditating would be more beneficial. 

Rey opened her eyes and realised she was no longer meditating on the tiny island with Luke Skywalker, but was on a planet she'd never visited. She couldn't see much, thick fog enveloped her surroundings, the only thing she could see was a small figure in the distance. Even before the figure turned Rey knew who it was. Him. They both strode towards each other, and Rey frowned, this was the first time she'd had a vision with him while she was awake. Was their connection getting stronger? They reached each other and Rey looked at him, a feeling rising in her she didn't quite know how to describe.  
“Kylo Ren.”  
“Rey.”  
It was the first time in a year they'd spoken. Rey had often felt echoes of his voice in the dreams, but it was always the same.  
“I feel it too.”  
“You need a teacher.”  
“This is real then? You're not just a memory or a conjuration of my mind?”  
Kylo nodded, “This is real.”  
“So the past year, every time I've seen you, it's all been real? I don't understand... Why's this happening?”  
“You don't know?” Kylo asked, surprised, “I'm surprised you haven't asked your Master.”  
“Are you going to tell me or not?” Rey replied, choosing not to answer the question behind his words.  
“I believe we share a Force Bond.”  
“You believe? Meaning you don't actually know?” Rey scoffed, “Why didn't you ask your master?  
“You ask a lot of questions.”  
“You did offer to teach me.”  
Kylo didn't reply and Rey knew she'd cornered him. He was so different than what Poe had described. Confident, brutal, and utterly without mercy were the words Poe had used, and yet Rey found him surprisingly gentle towards her. And she was yet to see him display the confidence Poe had mentioned. If anything he was conflicted and completely unsure of any decision he seemed to make. That was one thing she could sympathise with, his inner conflict, especially with the Light and Dark. She was sure that the Dark Side wasn't for her and yet the more she trained with Luke the more convinced she became that the Light wasn't right for her either. Perhaps they were more similar than she'd initially thought?  
“Can you do it?” Rey suddenly asked.  
“Do what?” Kylo replied.  
“Train me.”  
Kylo Ren smiled, “I knew you'd change your mind.”  
Perhaps it was through the bond, but Rey knew he was lying, he hadn't the slightest idea if she was going to change her mind. She briefly wondered if that meant they couldn't lie to each other or if it was an effect of the vision. Rey decided it didn't matter.  
“Yes, I can train you.”  
Rey looked at him, “Then tell me where to go.”

Luke Skywalker opened his eyes the next morning and knew immediately he was alone on the island. Rey was gone. There was no message, but he knew why she'd left. He'd felt the Force Bond between his Padawan and his nephew the second she'd arrived on the island. He sighed, he hoped Rey knew what she was doing.


	2. Meeting

Rey wasn’t sure what she’d expected when she boarded Kylo Ren’s ship in her small freighter, perhaps rows of Stormtroopers aiming a vast array of weapons towards her as she descended the loading ramp? Instead, the hangar was entirely empty save for Kylo Ren, who stood at the bottom of the ramp, helmet off and waiting patiently. An ugly pink scar ran the length of his face and Rey had to resist wincing, she could still remember the fury she’d felt when she’d slashed him across the face. Rey glanced at his lightsaber which peeked out from under his cloak, Kylo made no move for it, but it still made her nervous.  
“I’m not going to attack you.”  
He must have sensed her discomfort.  
“Considering last time, surely you must understand my concern.”  
Kylo sighed, “You still want to kill me. Surely you must understand I have absolutely no desire to harm you.”  
“Just my friends unless you get what you want.”  
“You’re referring to the tratior, FN-2187-”  
“Finn,” Rey interrupted, “His name is Finn.”  
Kylo Ren shrugged, “He survived, I assume?”  
“As if you care,” Rey replied.  
Kylo didn’t reply, instead he motioned for her to follow and turned around. He was irritated, she sensed. His emotions were so much easier to read than Master Luke’s, they rolled off of him in waves. Though whether she could sense it because of they were bonded or because as a user of the Dark Side Kylo made no effort to hide his emotions, she had no idea. Rey stepped down the ramp, a small bag on her back. She hadn’t brought much, just a few changes of clothes and her staff, which was still more than she’d ever had on Jakku.  
“That is the mess hall,” Kylo pointed to a large door on their right, “I take my meals in my quarters, you can do the same or take them in the mess hall, whatever you prefer.”  
Rey followed him down a maze of hallways until they stood at the end of a long hall.  
“The bridge is down there,” he pointed to a door at the opposite end, “And this way is your quarters.”  
He turned left and Rey hurried to keep up. Kylo Ren’s strides were fast and Rey was much shorter than him. He then turned down several more corridors before arriving at a short hall, Rey had no idea how Kylo seemed to know his way around, she was certain she’d never be able to find her way back to hangar or the mess hall.  
“This is your room,” Kylo said as they walked through a door.  
The room was sparsley decorated, a king-sized bed stood at one end with night tables either side, a wardrobe ran the length of the opposite wall and a second door led to what Rey presumed was a bathroom. Despite its simplicity the room felt like luxury to Rey. Even without the ajoining bathroom, the space was bigger than her AT-AT, and the facilities were state of the art, unlike the small hut on Master Luke’s island.  
“Cleaning droids will be by shortly, they can put away your belongings.”  
Rey put her small bag on the end of the bed and followed Kylo back out the door. He turned the way they’d came, but Rey stopped him, pointing to the end of the corridor.  
“What’s down there?”  
“Those are my quarters.”  
Rey wasn’t sure how she felt about the proximity of their quarters. Or what it meant. It was perfectly conceivable that it meant nothing, it was likely that she had been given quarters for high-ranking guests and non-Stormtroopers. But after a year of dreaming about – no, with – Kylo Ren, it felt strange that he’d only be a few feet away down the hall. Kylo watched her reaction intently, but when she didn’t say anything he continued back the way they’d come without comment. They walked in silence until they reached an enormous room. Scattered with various weightlifting and running equipment as a well as a circular ring in the middle. The back of the room was walled off and Rey looked at it pointedly, Kylo followed her gaze before nodding.  
“That’s the simulation room for the Stormtroopers.”  
Rey smiled, she’d used a flight simulator back on Jakku, although she had no doubt that this one was far more sophisticated, it was something familiar.  
“Can I use it?”  
Kylo shrugged, “If you want. You won’t like it though.”  
“Why?” Rey frowned.  
“It’s made for Stormtroopers. The only enemies available are Resistance fighters, Republic soldiers, and civilians.”  
“Right. Never mind,” Rey paused, “So what do we do now?”  
“That is up to you. I won’t force you to do anything. Dinner is being served in the mess hall now though, have you eaten?”  
Rey hadn’t realised it until Kylo had said something, but she was starving. She’d been too nervous to eat much since she left Luke’s island and at the mention of food her stomach growled.  
“Food sounds, uh, great,” Rey said, trying to hide her enthusiasm.  
She stood there for a moment while she waited for Kylo to lead the way.  
“You don’t remember the way to the mess hall, do you?”  
“No.”  
He sighed heavily and motioned for Rey to follow, “I hope you don’t learn the ways of the Force as slowly.”  
“I can only be as good as my teacher,” Rey replied evenly.  
She was surprised by his sass, she’d always assumed he was constantly serious. It never occurred to her that he’d make jokes, even at her expense. 

They didn’t bother lining up, Kylo Ren grabbed a tray and immediately headed to the front of the line to be served. Rey murmured apologies as they pushed past the line of Stormtroopers, none of which made a comment. They sat down at a table in the far corner of the room. Rey sat with her back against the wall and was able to see across the room, they were constantly receiving glances and looks from almost every Stormtrooper and officer in the room, Rey wondered whether Kylo could feel it. It would explain why he kept his back to them.  
“It is why I normally I take my meals in my quarters.”  
Rey looked up from her food, “What?”  
“You were wondering whether I could feel the eyes of all the Stormtroopers on me. The answer is yes, it’s why I take my meals in my room.”  
“You’re reading my mind?” Rey asked, “I don’t understand this isn’t anything like when you tort- interrogated me.”  
“I’m not using the same technique. Our Force Bond allows us to communicate telepathically with ease. It means that I can access your surface thoughts with ease.”  
Rey frowned, she didn’t like this one bit. She had expected little privacy when she joined Kylo, but had hoped that at least her mind would remain her own.  
“It works both ways, if that makes it better.”  
“Meaning I can access your thoughts?”  
Kylo nodded.  
“How?”  
He looked at her, the barest hint of a smile playing around his lips, “Close your eyes.”  
Rey did as she was told, unsure of what to expect.  
“Feel the ship around you and listen to my words. Hear the sound of Stormtroopers training in the gym, their hands cutting the air. The welding of droids as they go about their work.”  
“A Teethree unit has a stuck motivator,” Rey interrupted.  
“Ignore distractions and focus on my voice. Now stretch out, hear the rumble of hyperspace, the hum of the hyperdrive. The breathing of off-duty Stormtroopers asleep in their quarters. Now listen deeper. Past their breathing and listen.”  
Oh shit, I don’t want to hand that report to Lieutenant Haushe, she’ll know I’ve been slacking off. Fuck, what if she tells Kylo Ren? I don’t want to be killed in a tantrum.  
Even in the Stormtrooper’s dreams, their work plagued them.  
“I heard the thoughts of a Stormtrooper,” Rey opened her eyes.  
“As I suspected, you are strong indeed. What you heard were surface thoughts only, but Supreme Leader Snoke tells me it is something masters have trained for for many years and never learned.”  
“I didn’t read your thoughts though.”  
He shrugged, “It’s the same principal. I won’t stop you if you want to try.”  
Rey nodded and closed her eyes, this time focusing on the man seated in front of her. Reading Kylo Ren’s mind was even easier than the Stormtrooper’s, the Bond seemingly allowed her to connect with him effortlessly.  
Well done Rey.  
You can feel this?  
Your mind is refreshingly different from Supreme Leader Snoke’s.  
Does he read your mind regularly?  
Kylo didn’t reply, instead he stood up and picked up his half-empty tray.  
“Are you finished with that?” He pointed to Rey’s bare tray.  
“Yeah.”  
Rey went to pick up her empty tray, but Kylo beat her to it. She was quick to follow him as he returned their trays to a cart filled with dirty dishes. At their sudden movement all eyes in the mess hall were suddenly trained on them and Rey had an idea. Without even closing her eyes this time she searched the minds of the Stormtroopers.  
Is Kylo Ren taking her plate for her?  
I wonder if she’s really Force Sensitive or this is his subtle way of bringing his girlfriend on board.  
First she gets him to eat in the mess hall and now he’s taking her plate. I bet he likes her.  
Rey withdrew herself from the minds of the Troopers. It was clear that not a whole lot happened on board the ship. They all thought he liked her, despite there being absolutely nothing even remotely romantic or sexual about their situation. He was being courteous for goodness sake, even the Master of the Knights of Ren was capable of being polite. Which was more than could be said for most of the inhabitants of Jakku. Rey groaned internally, she just knew that gossip was going to spread throughout the ship like sand in a sandstorm. From now on she was definitely taking Kylo’s advice and eating in her room. However isolated that idea seemed.  
“Rey,” Kylo said softly, “What do you want to do now?”  
Get away from here, she thought miserably, forgetting that Kylo could read her mind.  
Kylo didn’t reply to her thoughts, instead he turned on his heel on walked out of the mess hall. Rey followed quickly, desperate to be away from prying eyes. She followed him through the maze of halls until they reached a familiar area. Kylo stopped at Rey’s door, but didn’t walk in.  
“Consider that your first lesson, Rey.”  
“It was very interesting, I- thanks.”  
“Get some sleep. We begin training at 0800 hours,” he said, walking towards his own quarters.  
“I’ll be ready,” Rey replied as she watched Kylo disappear into his own room.

In her own room, Rey sat on her bed and pulled off her boots, quickly changing into her sleeping attire. For some reason it felt strange – wrong even – to be naked on Kylo Ren’s ship. As if this were a place she should never feel comfortable. Curling up on her bed Rey closed her eyes and willed sleep to come for what was the first of what she expected to be many lonely nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking so long to update, I've been unwell recently and that's taken its toll.  
> Fun fact: I got the mind-reading from Kreia's dialogue with the Exile in KOTOR 2, I thought this was fitting since TFA seems to be taking a lot of influence from KOTOR (well, technically the first one, but still)  
> Thank you for any comments and/or kudos, I'd love some feedback on what you thought! Any mistakes, awkward lines, chapters too long/short? Please don't be afraid to give it to me, otherwise I'll never improve.


	3. Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long to update. On the plus side the lingering illness I've had for the past 3ish months seems to be mostly gone so hopefully I can update faster now.

The past few weeks since coming aboard Kylo Ren’s ship had been gruelling. Training with Master Luke had been difficult too, but more so on the physical side. Luke had believed that physical training had been most important for a healthy mind and a healthy mind was better at using the Force. Every morning he had sent her off on runs across the ruins of the first Jedi Temple while she was weighted down with a heavy pack. While Rey didn’t exactly enjoy the runs, it was a familiar task, though she hadn’t run on Jakku. As a teacher Kylo didn’t ignore the physical side of training, but he definitely focused on the mental side of training. Rey suspected that he was using her to learn more than what Snoke had been willing to teach him about the Force though she never voiced those suspicions. However, she had no doubt that Kylo was aware of those thoughts even if he never commented on them.  
Rey, you’re unfocused. Return to your meditations.  
Kylo interrupted her thoughts. It was a common occurrence during meditation, even with Master Luke, Rey had had trouble focusing. It was even worse now, before she’d simply daydreamed about seeing her friends again, but ever since Kylo taught her to read minds she’d rapidly improved and without even trying she could now hear the thoughts of every Stormtrooper who walked past her and though they’d been practising, blocking them out was proving much more difficult.  
Either concentrate on your anger and hatred for the Stormtroopers into a pure point of ruthless power within you or focus on those emotions and let each one go. I don’t care which.  
Easier said than done, Rey thought, I can feel all their thoughts and it’s not exactly easy to ignore.  
That is how you learn to block it out.  
It’s not just their thoughts, I can feel their eyes on us.  
Rey sensed movement and her eyes flew open, Kylo was looming over her.  
“Get up,” he murmured.  
He was annoyed, not quite angry yet, but Rey wasn’t entirely sure who it was directed at. Her mind flashed back to Kylo Ren’s battle with Finn, even dazed as she was, she’d been able to see the anger and ferocity he’d fought her friend with that he’d completely lacked when they’d fought. And for the first time since that battle, Rey felt a flash of fear for the man standing in front of her. She quickly scrambled to her feet and Kylo pointed at a blunt vibro-sword.  
“We’re going to spar.”

Kylo held nothing back when he spared with Rey. It helped him vent his frustrations at her slow learning. Surely he was not a poorer teacher than his uncle? His wounds had long since healed and the scavenger barely managed to keep up. Often she ended up on her back and Kylo wasn’t sure what was more bruised, her body or her pride. Rey cried out as she dropped her weapon for the seventh time. Kylo held little sympathy, the girl would learn or she would die in battle. Where was her drive? Her passion? When they’d fought on Starkiller Base she’d been a force to be reckoned with! He had thought she was the only person who could give him a real challenge. Granted, on Starkiller he’d been wounded and had allowed her to win. Rey fell to the ground once again trying to block Kylo’s thrust towards her. He waited for her to get up and resume training, but instead she threw the sword away before clambering to her feet.  
“I wouldn’t advise doing that during a fight.”  
Rey’s eyes flashed angrily and Kylo had to suppress a smile. One thing Kylo had learnt in the past weeks was that once he managed to get under her skin, Rey was quick to anger. He may just turn her to the Dark Side yet.  
“I can’t fight with this sword, I’m used to training with a staff,” she stated.  
“You managed fine on Starkiller,” he replied.  
“That was different. I was angry and I- I hated you,” she stuttered, “You murdered your own father. You were a monster.”  
For some reason the accusation, although true, stung when it came from her mouth. He kept it buried deep within himself, but he regretted killing Han Solo. The man had not been the best father, but deep down Kylo knew Han had still cared for him and love him greatly. However, he would never admit that to anyone, not even himself lest Snoke discovered it.  
“Your use of past tense indicates you’ve changed your mind.”  
“What? No! I just… I don’t like you, okay? But Master Luke says Jedi do not hate.”  
“You’re not a Jedi.”  
Rey nodded, “Not yet, but I will be.”  
“If you truly believed that, you wouldn’t be here with me.”  
Rey stared at him, her mouth opened, but nothing came out. She had no response and Kylo knew it was because it was true. He tried to scan her surface thoughts, but Rey’s mental barriers came crashing down. It seemed she was able to effectively block others from entering her mind when needed, even if she could not keep herself out of the minds of others. Kylo went and picked up her sword that lay at the edge of the sparring ring. He returned both her sword and his to the rack on the wall before walking back to Rey.  
“I believe we have a few double-bladed swords stored away somewhere.”  
Rey’s face lit up, her previous irritation completely forgotten. Kylo briefly returned a small smile. No, she didn’t see him as a monster, not anymore. He doubted she honestly disliked him either. However, whether she genuinely liked him or it was a symptom of their Force bond, Kylo Ren could only guess. 

Rey had taken to eating lunch in her quarters like Kylo Ren had initially suggested. In fact, when she wasn’t training with Kylo she spent the majority of her time in her room. As a scavenger Rey had spent most of her life avoiding attention. And the solitude - while it wasn’t her first choice - was familiar. She had, at times, contemplated asking Kylo if she could join him if only for some kind of companionship, but she quickly shut down the idea. She tolerated him, but she did not like him. The only reason she was here was to figure out this connection between them and how to sever it. She knew Kylo had other plans though he’d said nothing of it since she came aboard, but she still fully expected him to try and turn her to the Dark Side. Rey sighed and picked at her lunch. While being further away from everyone meant that it was harder to hear their thoughts she still received random fragments from nearby sleeping First Order operatives and passing Stormtroopers. So long as she wasn’t in the room their thoughts were thankfully of the mundane variety, which was preferable to people thinking about her, or even worse, her and Kylo. It did make Rey curious to know what Kylo thought of the Stormtroopers’ musings on the nature of their relationship. From what she’d ‘heard’ Kylo was prone to tantrums when he got angry, destroying whatever inanimate object was unlucky enough to be in sight so it came at a surprise that they were so careless with their thoughts. Unless the thought of them together was something Kylo actually enjoyed? No, that was ridiculous, besides, Kylo was actually capable of keeping out of their heads. Something Rey was insanely jealous of. Bored, Rey scanned her room. Without much else to think it about, it struck her how different her quarters were to her little AT-AT on Jakku. Everything to do with the First Order was so… sterile. Her home on Jakku hadn’t been much, but at least it had looked lived in. Every morning after she left for training droids came into her room and left it spotless. After watching the simulations the Stormtroopers went through, everything about the First Order felt artificial. It was strange. She couldn’t do much about the rest of the ship, but, Rey decided, she could personalise her room. Somehow she could get a hold of some plants for her night tables, and perhaps some bed sheets that weren’t stark white or inky black. If she could she’d choose green sheets, there wasn’t enough green in the world. And since she only had two changes of clothes plus her pyjamas, she could definitely convert half her wardrobe into a bookcase. Maybe the First Order had flight simulators tucked away somewhere?  
Rey, if you’re truly so bored, you’re welcome to have lunch with me. I, at least, have a table in my quarters.  
Rey paused, had Kylo been listening to her thoughts? She blushed, though no one was there to see her embarrassment, she knew Kylo felt it.  
Your thoughts were more interesting than the report I’m supposed to read. Which says something about the report.  
I don’t want to bother you…  
She hated to admit it, but she actually felt intrigued. Not over Kylo, but she was yet to see what his quarters looked like and she was curious to see what a high command of the First Order could do for you.  
You’re not bothering me, on the contrary I could use the distraction.  
Rey sighed and picked up her tray off of her lap. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. She didn’t want to become close with Kylo Ren, but by the same token she felt she would go mad with boredom, something that she’d never had to worry about on Jakku.

Kylo nodded at the service droid to open the door when he heard a knock, glancing up from his datapad he watched Rey as she walked in. She blushed and walked over to where he was sitting, placing her tray on the table. She was nervous, he noted, and a little embarrassed. Hopefully, she could couldn’t feel his own anxiousness, hiding that took enormous amounts of effort and as Rey grew stronger with the Force it was only going to get harder.  
“So… your quarters are nice. Nicer than mine anyway.”  
“Benefits of command,” Kylo replied, putting down his datapad.  
“It’s all so lavish. Even the Resistance didn’t have facilities like this, from what little I saw.”  
“Tell me about Jakku. Your life, what was it like?” Kylo had little interest in discussing the architecture of the First Order.  
“You didn’t get a good enough look when you interrogated me?”  
Kylo winced, he hadn’t wanted to search her mind, but was given little choice.  
“I told you that I didn’t want to do it,” he countered, “I begged you to just tell me.”  
“So if I refuse to talk now are you going to just rip it from my mind?”  
“I couldn’t, even if I wanted to – which I don’t – though blocking your thoughts from my mind is becoming progressively harder unless you consciously put up barriers.”  
Rey was silent and when Kylo tried to prod her mind, he felt nothing. She was shielding her thoughts.  
After a time she spoke, “It’s not that interesting. Every day I had to scavenge for anything salvageable. Which I would then sell to Unkar Plutt - the local junkboss - for food portions.”  
“It sounds hard.”  
“It was, I guess… I don’t know, I never really thought about it. That was just my life. It was normal. What was your childhood like? I can hardly imagine an ordinary childhood.”  
Kylo frowned, “I wouldn’t call my childhood ordinary. You’re going to be disappointed, it wasn’t as idyllic as you’re imagining.”  
“It couldn’t have been worse than being eight years old and having to fight off other scavengers for scraps of salvage.”  
“It was lonely. Han and Moth- Leia fought constantly. It always ended the same, Han left with the wookie, Leia focused on her work. The only time my parents seemed to have time for me was when it concerned my connection to the Force. They both feared me for it, I could feel it. Han especially thought I was too much like my grandfather.”  
“They compared you to Darth Vader?”  
“Never aloud, but I’ve always had an affinity for reading thoughts and feelings.”  
“Sometimes on Jakku there used to be sandstorms that would last for days and you had to stay indoors until it passed. I always ran out of food before the storm ended and to ignore the hunger I used to make up stories about my family. Han was a lot like what I imagined my father.”  
“You should let go of that Rey. I was serious on Starkiller, he would have disappointed you.”  
“Did you at least have friends?”  
“There was Snoke though I wouldn’t define the Supreme Leader as a friend.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“The Supreme Leader has whispered to me in my head for as long as I can remember.”  
Rey looked shocked, “Doesn’t that bother you?”  
Kylo shifted uncomfortably, “I’d rather not talk about this, Rey.”  
“Sorry,” she replied.  
Kylo didn’t respond, talking about the Supreme Leader to Rey was an awkward subject. He hadn’t exactly mentioned her presence on his ship to Snoke and wasn’t planning to. He was afraid of what Snoke would do to her because whatever he intended, it wasn’t good.  
“Not long before I met Beebee-ate on Jakku, I found a ship overturned by the sands that had never been scavenged. I spent weeks repairing it with the help of two other scavengers. They were the closest thing I’d ever had to friends.”  
“It didn’t last?”  
“No, once it was repaired we flew it to Niima Outpost. Seeing the faces of all the other scavengers… it was the most satisfying thing I’d ever done, but when I left to show Unkar the two other scavengers took off without me.”  
“You were angry?”  
“I wanted to be, I should have been. But I couldn’t blame them, I would have left long ago if I wasn’t waiting for my family.”  
Kylo almost echoed Rey’s sentiments. Almost. Especially when he was younger he used to dream of Han and Leia coming to get him away from the clutches of Snoke. That dream had faded over the years, however, and was barely something he ever thought about. The funny thing was that when Han had pleaded with him to come home, he’d nearly done it. But Snoke had swooped in, telling him to stop being weak and to kill his father. It’ll make you stronger, he said. Kylo opened his mouth to explain this to Rey, he remembered her reaction, the way she had spat the word monster. She deserved an explanation.  
“Sir, Lieutenant Verza is requesting your presence on the bridge.” The service droid interrupted.  
Kylo glared at the droid, “Tell Lieutenant Verza that-”  
“It’s okay,” Rey said, “Really, I can go back to my quarters or to the training room or something.”  
“You shouldn’t train alone, it only embeds your errors.” Kylo shook his head, “Very well, you can stay here and finish your meal if you want. Take your time, fuck knows this will.”  
He rose from his chair, nodded to Rey and left the room. If he hadn’t lost his mask on Starkiller he would have allowed a small smile. Because he was certain that was progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked it please please please give kudos and especially comment because it's what inspires me to keep writing!  
> Follow me on Tumblr: official-reylo.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, as well as any kudos and/or comments, they're much appreciated!  
> Not sure if this will be a one-shot or multi-chaptered, I'll do more if people are interested, so please let me know!  
> Also feel free to follow me on Tumblr at: official-reylo.tumblr.com


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